What is this?
I'm not sure exactly why, but I am feeling the need to process my own path through and with grief.
(I say that like it's a journey that has an end...ha)
True to myself, the way that I can understand the linear nature of time, is through the lens of photos of my beloved pup, Holden.
Time really does feel like a flat circle sometimes.
Holden's appearance in my life six years ago was a godsend.
(the digital timestamps on photos - also a godsend)
The first photos I have of him were sent to my best friends. "I got a dog...he needs a name!" Once I discovered the never ending cuteness that was Holden, I was photo hooked. The advent of cameras in phones and Instagram would be my downfall. I became one of those people.
Funny though, what I ended up doing was essentially documenting my struggle with grief through photos of my new puppy. It was someone that needed me, that loved me unconditionally, that didn't have a voice of his own and was so damned cute. I ended up using him as a balm, a reminder that I still had good in my life. I still had uncomplicated, unconditional love.
An obsession was born.
Feel free to make fun, but I needed it (and still do obviously)
And now I'm curious, what do those photos say, what does the trajectory of my grief look like. Have I learned ANYTHING? Some days I think: absolutely! Some days I think: I'm nowhere.
Today: I'm curious.